Some people are so Tree-tarded….

One of the reasons I like working with the public is because it is never, EVER, boring.

It's always different people with different personalities.  Some are funny, some are sweet, some are cranky,… and some,… are just plain stupid.

OK, I know people in Arizona are not used to conifers, (pine, fur, spruce, etc.), like people in the northwest are.  But I am amazed at how tree-tarded people here can be.

For instance:  Big signs all over the place say, "Fresh Cut Trees"

So how many times do I have to answer the question,… "If I plant this in my yard after Christmas will it grow?"
What the...  -  I answer nicely, "No, I'm sorry it won't."
"Why?"
At this point it's really hard not roll my eyes,… but,… I answer nicely,….
"It is a CUT tree, it doesn't have any roots."
As in: Cut OFF at the stump!  NO roots =  D.E.A.D.  you moron!

"Well, do you have any with roots left on them?"
"No, we don't sell them that way."
Because even if it did have roots,… look around here.  Do you see ANY conifers growing anywhere near here?  NO.  Because they can't handle the 117 degree summers, fool!  Thats why they grow Oregon, Idaho, Michigan, Connecticut….  Are you seeing a pattern there?  COOL.

I'm sorry, I just needed to get that out of my system.
But wait!  There's more!

The Ultimate Tree-tard Conversation

Take a look at this photo.  The tree on the right is 9 feet tall. That is a big tree.  The tree on the left is 14 feet tall.  That is a HUGE tree.

So I had this mother and daughter come in.  Mom about 50 ish, daughter probably mid 20's.
They want to buy the 14 ft tree.  Mom haggles over the price a bit, we agree on a small discount.
So I ask, "When will you be coming back for the tree?"
Mom says, "Oh, we'll take it now.  Is there someone that can help us load it?"

I look around the parking lot,… "Sure. Do you have a trailer or something big to haul it in?"

"No, but can't you tie it on top of our car?"
"A car? No, I don't think so."
"Well, it's pretty big, it's a Ford Escape." (Like this pic.)  

I explained that the tree was longer than the car and very heavy and would damage the top of the car.
Mom looked at Daughter, who pouted and said, "But I WANT that tree!"
So Mom asks "If we find a pickup, can you load it in to that?"
I explained that it was too large for a pick up because the beds are too short and the tree would stick too far out the back.
From the daughter, "But I WANT that tree!"   Mom - "Can't you lean it against the cab?"

"No, it's 14 feet tall, there's no way it would stay. You need a big trailer to move it, and some help unloading it."
"My daughter and I will unload it."
I explained that it was a HUGE tree, it weighs about 400 pounds.  It took 4 men to move it about 40 feet while it was in the horizontal position, and 5 men to stand it up.
Mom says, "Really? It doesn't look that big or that heavy."  She turns to her daughter, and says, "How tall are your ceilings?"
"I don't know - they're just normal ceilings! It's not like I measured them."
Mom asks me, "How tall are normal ceilings?"
"8 to 10 feet."
"OK, we'll go measure the ceilings and find a trailer."

They didn't come back for it.   -shrug-   Go figure.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Just a couple of pics - pounding the stands onto the bottom of small douglas firs, after they have been drilled.

Ready to go in the tent, be watered, then untie the twine, fluff, and sell!